


Trained and Steady

by junjoutattoo



Category: Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Before the events of The Walking Dead, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Gay Bashing, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, I wanted to do this duo so much, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jesse learns how to use a crossbow, M/M, New OTP, Nightmares, Poor Jesse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Was it consensual or not?, handjobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:43:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6695932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junjoutattoo/pseuds/junjoutattoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse Pinkman never thought his life could change even more when a stranger named Daryl Dixon saved him after the compound was under attack by Walkers. Now Jesse must join an alliance with him and help him find his missing brother, Merle, without realizing that he would soon fall in love with this stranger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This happens before Daryl and Merle Dixon met Shane and the rest of the camp group in Season 1 of the series and I wanted the addition of Jesse. Been watching The Walking Dead which is amazing so far and I love Breaking Bad. ^_^ Spoilers warning ahead for those who haven't seen both.

After a painful work day of working in that lab at the compound, Jesse was thrown into the damp room he lived in for weeks. His weak body laid numbly on the hard ground resting with his cheek resting on the side; it had gotten used to this routine of starvation and mistreatment those bastards had given him. His hand and foot were in chains, stuck near the wall and Jesse sluggishly moved to his ragged bed--barely is one--and laid on it and covers himself with the smelly blanket. A bit of sun shined on the room but it’s not like the sun was helping his childish fear of the darkness that was enduring him. Whether it was Mr. White, the deaths he had to witness, or Jack and his gang who at some point are gonna kill him when they didn’t want him no longer. The death of Andrea was the final straw of the happy future he had wanted--Todd had murdered her in front of him as a warning--with the first being Jane whom Mr. White admitted to have watched her die. A confession that left Jesse heartbroken that the one man he looked up to had betrayed him like that. He had a sudden thought of both of them in his head. Andrea’s beautiful face and Jane’s luscious licorice hair. Their lovely personality and their angelic voices echoed in his mind as if he was hallucinating that they were with him in this room. He whimpered a little as he covered his ruined face within his knees, hugging his legs closer to his chest. Just the infinite thought of them brings him misery.

And to think that being in there would be the one worst thing that’ll happen to him.

When the night approached, Jesse heard voices from the other side of the door. Panicked voices most of all from Jack and his gang surprisingly. Objects fall to the ground breaking some of the glasses and liquid that spread all over the floor. It caught his attention as he slowly scooted himself as closest as he can to the door. Has a remorseful Mr. White come to save him at last? Though that was the last thing he ever thought about as he suddenly heard gunshots that made him jump a little. He heard Todd’s voice cursing along with a yelling cry from one of the gang as there was a huge bump against the door making Jesse move away from it. Then he heard a slight animalistic growl and the sound of ripping skin as well as feeling a little bit of warm liquid in his hand that was pouring through the door crack underneath. It began to sicken Jesse’s stomach though resisted to try not to vomit as he covered his mouth. However, the painful crying and cursing soon became silent leaving Jesse to hesitantly stay closer to the door. The growl suddenly became louder and he quietly moved away from door back to his bed and covered himself with the blanket. The pounding on the door was strong and forceful yet luckily for Jesse, the door was narrow and locked around with chains and a padlock so the figure’s pounding isn't enough to break the door down. But it was enough to leave a little opening revealing to Jesse a disgusting looking dead creature pulling its hand out to reach him. A scared Jesse panicked, hiding himself as he cries out, “Oh Jesus. What the fuck?!” He turns away from the creature and closed his eyes crying, “Oh Jesus, there’s a fucking zombie here. There’s a fucking zombie here.” He stayed in his protective spot and position while the creature continued to force itself to break down the door.

The hours has passed and Jesse’s stomach began to grumble and his throat became dry. His hand held it trying to silence it. The banging seemed to stop a while ago with the zombie giving up on trying to get him as it searches for a substitute that would satisfy it. There was a silence within the compound and sky was still dark. Jesse didn’t dare turn around and made a deep sigh as he looked up at the ceiling to stare at the full moon getting covered by the incoming clouds that passed by. Jesse believed he was going to die whether or not it was in Jack’s hands, starvation or becoming the meal for the zombies. He silently wept as he thought of the things he should've done in his life. Having a decent job. Make a family. Dying in his final days of old age. he thought about the people he knew: Andrea, Jane, Brock, Mike, Badger, Skinny Pete. Even Mr. White. What was he doing now? Continuing his legacy as Heisenberg or has he succumbed to the cancer by now? He sank himself deep within his covers as he started to weep while saying the name the man who ruined him, “Mr. White….Mr. White….” He closed his eyes as he tries to go to sleep.

Yet, before he could even sleep, he heard a door creak from outside. He looked at the side to see a bright golden light glowing the room a little bit. Hesitantly, Jesse went over to see just a little. Was it still Mr. White and not some other creepy zombie? Thankfully, it wasn't a zombie but it wasn't Mr. White. The light was instead coming from another individual, a man. Older than Jesse though slightly younger than Mr. White, with short brown hair holding a crossbow steady on another hand and wearing a ripped jade green shirt, showing his well-build muscles and carrying a backpack. Jesse moved a little more to see a little view of him as he watched the man scout the entire area of the room. The man was searching for someone or something--more of the blue meth that hasn't been lost--as he peeked at every room and later scratching his hair to his neck. Then, he heard the zombie growls as he saw that the man caught the zombie’s attention. The zombie threw an angry growl and went towards him but the man readily pointed the crossbow at it and shot an arrow to the forehead. The zombie’s growl died off as it fell to the ground hard. Jesse was surprised and the man went over to the zombie to take out the arrow from the forehead. The man took a deep breath in disappointment speaking out in a Southern accent, “Looks like he ain't here.” He placed the arrow back with the other arrows he saved and made his way out of the building.

Jesse meanwhile was thinking whether or not to have this guy help him get out of there. This was the perfect opportunity for him to break free of this miserable place and find himself a place to stay for once. However, Jesse had a doubtful thought that this man would be just like Jack and the gang; use and abuse him. Treat him like he’s not a human being and would kill him if he gets bored of him. In his mind, he thought of one question:

_Should he place his trust once again?_

Although he thought of that, his actions quickly took a turn as his raspy voice finally pleading, “Help me.” His voice caught the man as he turned around and stopped at the doorway. Leaving the man puzzled and curious, Jesse spoke again, “Please.” The man walked back with his weapon still close to him looking around to know where the voice came from. Jesse stared at him as the man peaked through the opening of the door as he asked, “Hello?” Jesse moved a little bit toward the door as he pleaded, “Can you help me?”  
“What’s wrong?” responded the man. “You stuck?”  
“Yeah.” Jesse moved a little forcefully making the chain noises for the man to hear.  
“I can let you outta there but you aren't bitten by those ugly pieces of shit?”  
“No, I swear.” He nearly choked after saying that last word assuming the man meant the zombies.  
“Hang tight.”  
“Thank you,” breathed out Jesse as he rested against the wall in relief. The man looked around for anything that could break the padlock until he saw a bolt cutter sitting a couple of inches beside it. The man sets his crossbow down to grab it, broke the padlock with it and removed the chains wrapped around it. He opened the door holding up the light to brighten up the room. He saw the entire dead room from the ceiling to the rugged looking bed and bucket. The light then shifted to Jesse, blinding the young man as he covered his eyes with his hands. The man shockingly saw the chains that locked him and bits of the scratches and bruises left by him. He hustled over to Jesse with the bolt cutter in hand and knelt down. “Fucking bastards,” he cursed in a whispering voice as he broke the thin chains off and the cuff from his leg and arm. Jesse rubbed them easingly feeling the cool little air on them as the man shoved the chain off to the side.  
He then looked at Jesse in the eye, asking, “Can you walk, kid?”  
“A little bit,” Jesse answered as he stared at the clear blue eyes.  
“Okay, just hold onto me.” The man wrapped Jesse’s right on the back of his neck and he held the young man’s waist while Jesse pushed himself to walk out of the room with him.

Jesse was seated at a chair in a room that had been once Jack’s office and the man searched and rummaged through his bag for any bandages he still had. On another pocket of his bag, he saw white bandages and took them out. He took out his hunting knife and placed it on the table before he wrapped Jesse’s wrist and leg with such ease. Jesse grimaced with the pain all while looking at the man in silence as the man cut the end part once he tucked it on the there. When he was done, Jesse said, “Thanks.” The man looked up at him and stood up replying, “Don't thank me yet.” He puts the bandage back and carried his two bags. He took out his hand and Jesse held it as the man helped him out of the seat making him stand. Jesse steadily tried to walk in perfection with the man asking him, “You okay?” Jesse nodded and the man smiled warmly at him. “Good. You mind holding the lamp before we get outta here?” Jesse nodded again and took hold of the lamp. “Let's go.” Jesse walked behind the man as he led him out of the compound but before he could step out of it, Jesse turned around to look at the destroyed meth lab. From the supplies to the general look of it. Though he had lived in hell with Mr. White, Gus and Jack, there was part of him that would miss it. In his life, he had done drug dealing before Mr. White ever came to him and made the job even worse. Jesse would be missing though relieved as for surely he wouldn't do this kind of stuff any longer. “You coming?” Jesse turned back to the man and continued to follow him out to the world where for surely he would restart his life anew.


	2. Chapter 2

Jesse woke up the next morning inside a tent within a comfortable blanket. There was light shining more brightly through the tent and Jesse sat up while rubbing his eyes to get rid of the weariness in them. He crawled towards the exit of the tent, opening it through the zipper to see a beautiful forest with musical sounds of birds chirping in the background. It smelled fresh not to mention that it was extremely humid. He got out of the tent to touch the earthly grounds and looked up at the blue sky with the sun gleaming among the trees, providing him shades from their shadows. There was a lake beside it by a couple of meters, pure and blue. It almost felt like a dream for him as he smiled upon the lovely sky; he had almost forgotten how he and the man gotten here. Though he recalled that the truck they took ran out of gas after they drove a couple of miles away from the compound so the rest of the trail they walked on foot until they got in the forest region of New Mexico.

Jesse next noticed that the man was missing with his bags left behind near the tent. He looked around to see if there was any sign of him or any of those zombies that could be wandering around the woods. For a good weapon to protect him in the meantime, Jesse rummaged through one of the man’s bags and he spotted a loaded silver pistol. But when he touched it, Jesse’s mind gave him a flashback about Gale. A man loyal to Gus, a cold blooded son of a bitch, and a victim in Heisenberg’s business. Mr. White had persuaded Jesse to kill him who was unarmed when he saw him. He remembered the man sobbing and quietly begging Jesse not to kill him. It saddened and haunted Jesse as he backed his hand away from the gun and turned away. It made him shudder and he quickly zipped the bag closed. He stepped away from it and shook his head to try to whisk away the terrible memory from his head.

All of a sudden, branch snapping sounds from behind startled Jesse and he turned around. The sound came a little loud and Jesse began to back a little bit only to realize that it's the man coming back from his hunt with a couple of rabbits he was carrying. Jesse sighed in relief as the man replied, “Morning, sleeping beauty.” He sets his crossbow down carefully beside his bags. “Hope you’re hungry cuz I got us some rabbit. A dozen of them so it’ll be enough for us to eat. Why don't you get a fire going while I get these nice and ready to get cooked.” He sets the dead animals on top of a log as he took out his knife and started to peel off the skin of the rabbit. Jesse felt a little sick in the stomach just seeing the insides of it before he went off to collect branches for the fire.

They started a fire once Jesse collected enough good branches and the man started to cook up the organs of the rabbits which were impaled on a stick. Jesse watched the meat burn up its raw features until it was cooked well enough to make his stomach grumble for its taste as the scent went to his nose. When the meat was done, the man gave Jesse one stick with the meat while having the other. Jesse instead having the moment to smell it immediately ate it savoring the odd flavor of the meat into his teeth. The man looked at him eat and made a little chuckle as he spoke, “I ain't seen anyone eat rabbit that much before.” Jesse looked up at him but doesn't smile and continues to chew on his food. “Guess you don't talk much do you?” Jesse gulped and still doesn't say a word.  
“I shouldn't talk if you don't.” The man took a bite out of the meat and Jesse spoke up, “It's fine, man. Uh, I haven't had meat or good food in a long while. This is pretty good.” The man looked at him and then to his food. He didn't dare ask anything about his state in that compound knowing that it would bring the kid back bad memories about it. Instead he gave the reply he had to say, “Your welcome.” For both the kid’s rescue and providing food for him.  
“But what were you doing there?” Jesse asked him.  
“I was trying to find my brother, Merle,” responded the man truthfully.  
“Merle?” The name sounded a little familiar to Jesse as he had heard Jack speak of that name before or perhaps must've seen him.  
“He went into that same compound you were in. You know him?”  
“Is he that guy with grayish short hair with a Southern accent like yours, except a little deeper? Kind of an asshole, no offense.”  
“That's Merle alright.”  
“Yeah. I’ve seen him. He was there when those ugly looking zombies went into the compound. I heard him.”  
“Hm,” the man said as he was done chewing the last piece of meat before tossing the stick into the fire. “Merle told me he was going to do some last business with Jack Welker, his drug dealer. He was supposed to come back to the house we were in but never did. So I took a car and drove all the way there. Now I don't know where the hell he is and I have to go find him.” Jesse took a bite on the last piece before breaking the stick in half and throwing it in the fire.

“You know,” Jesse stated as he scratched his messy hair. “Since you saved me, I feel like I need to owe you a favor. And I wanna help you find him.” The man looked at him, a bit surprised from this request. “You can’t go out there on your own especially with those zombies walking around and you’re carrying all of this stuff. And I got nowhere to go so...yeah.” The man scratched his chin and thought about this coming from someone who probably has no experience in weaponry and has no idea about the dangerous situation the world is in. Despite that he could survive in this apocalypse, the kid couldn't. The man then spoke up, “But if you wanna help, try not to get yourself in trouble. Everywhere we go are crawling with Walkers, those ugly ass things you saw back there. If you get bitten by them, you turn just like them and I'm gonna have to kill you and you don't want that. Do you?” Jesse shook his head obediently. “You gotta trust me if you wanna live through this. You got it?” Jesse took a deep breath as a sort of chill shivered down his spine. He picked to trust this guy when he got out of the compound though going down this new path would mean facing death all over again. Even if he did back down, it would still mean death. Still, what choice did he have?  
Jesse nodded, “Yeah. I got it.” The man made a grin and he stood up from the log. “Alright but first thing first, you gotta get yourself together. You can start by washing yourself up at the lake. I'll give you some clothes and something to shave off that beard of yours.” Jesse stood up but before he could go to the lake, the man took out his hand as he introduced himself to Jesse, “Name’s Daryl Dixon.” Jesse looked at his hand and shook it replying, “Jesse Pinkman.”  
“Huh,” the man named Daryl said. “Nice to meet you, Jesse.”

Daryl gave Jesse an old fashioned shaver, shaving cream and a broken piece from a mirror while he searched through the bag for clothes. Jesse rested the mirror against two rock piled on top of each other and he washed his beard before putting on the shaving cream. After he shaved off the beard, he touched his skin as if had been the first time he had seen himself without it. As for his hair, instead of cutting it, he wet and slicked his hair back to freshen it up. Daryl approached to him with clothes on his hands and placed them on the top rock adding a comment, “I don't know if these’ll fit you.”  
“It's fine,” Jesse said and took off his shirt and pants tossing them to the side. Daryl picked them up and asked, “What do you want me to do with these?”  
“Burn them,” Jesse quickly made his answer as he put on his new shirt which was a red checkered one, sleeveless like Daryl’s. Daryl didn't question him as he knew Jesse had a reason to wanting them burned. He took them back to the fireplace and was about to throw them in when he turned back at Jesse who was still putting on the pants. He glanced back at the clothes and rather than burning them, he tucked them in his bag and took down the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now they're ready for traveling for the next chapter. :)


	3. Chapter 3

The two walked a couple of miles through the woods with Jesse carrying the camp supplies and Daryl in front leading the way. As of where they are, there was no sign of the Walkers, which worried Jesse internally, or Merle. Especially when they were walking by in silence. They managed to reach an open road at the end of the woods with cars parked on the ends colliding with many others. There was a green sign standing on the other side in big white letters stating: Albuquerque, 5 miles away. Those letters brought terror to Jesse more than the apocalyptic situation itself. The two stepped into the road and walked ahead towards the direction of the town. Daryl readied his weapon as they passed by the empty cars meanwhile Jesse was looking through each one with a couple of them having dead bodies within the vehicles. One of them, inside a silver Prius, that Jesse peeked in was a dead family consisting of two parents and a little boy who was holding onto a robot action figure. Flies buzzed around their corpses and pieces of their flesh have turned rotten with some even showing some parts of the skull; their eyes were taken out. The parents’ heads were staring up at the ceiling with one of their mouths opened wide. The awful smell gotten to Jesse who grimaced and covered his nose and ran ahead close behind Daryl.

Unexpectedly, Daryl stopped making Jesse bump him puzzled, “What? What happened?” Without making an answer, Daryl took Jesse’s arm and took him behind a white Sedan taking cover. “Is it a Walker?” whispered Jesse. Daryl covered his mouth shushing him before putting an arrow on his crossbow. Jesse looked up a little to see a walker up ahead wandering around in search for something to eat. Jesse lowered fast and Daryl looked at him and whispered to him, “Stay down and follow me.” Daryl moved in front to peek through to look at the Walker who after hearing a little rustle moved to the left making a perfect opportunity for both as they dashed through two cars without alerting it. Daryl peeked again to see if the Walker is distracted enough as it was eating off from a buck. Although, unbeknownst to them was that from the car they were hiding behind on had a Walker inside, sitting in the back seat, as it awoke from its rest. Its deadly eyes stared upon Jesse and began to walk out of the broken door with Jesse noticing it and panicked, “Daryl!” Daryl turned and shot the arrow at the Walker’s head. The other Walker however stopped eating with pieces of organs stuck in his mouth and turned to the direction it heard the voice from. Daryl in the meantime took out the arrow from the Walker’s head while  
he scowled at Jesse, “Christ, kid. You almost gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“It's a fucking zombie or whatever the fuck they’re called. How am I supposed to react to that?!” Jesse scorned.

Daryl’s jade green eyes then shifted to the left towards the Walker who spotted them when it appeared on the side. When it was about to strike at them, Daryl pulled out his hunting knife and charged, stabbing it at the head. Bits of blood spurted out with some staining his hands. “Let's go!” Daryl hustled. The two ran quickly without stopping or even turning back to see if any more Walkers were there that would pursue them.

They stopped halfway through and continued walking down the rest.

It took them around two hours and fifty minutes to reach the uninhabitant town of with ruined buildings, broken or barred windows and doors, more empty cars, leftover bodies, and litter left on the ground. The sounds of crows could be heard as they fly around searching for food with some already eating on dead animals or human bodies found on the asphalt ground or in cars. Jesse was shocked to see that the town he once knew and lived in was nothing but a wasteland, literally. It saddened him to see the destruction of the town at every block they turned and at every street they went into. Los Pollos Hermanos was destroyed from the windows and the sign of the chicken fell leaving only the title; he looked at it differently as the man behind it was gone anyways before this fiasco happened. The poster board on Saul Goodman, as Jesse saw it, was torn down, ripping the image of his ex criminal lawyer and some letters and numbers. Walking on the area they were in, it was the same place where Badger was set up by the DEA, in particular Mr. White’s brother in law, Hank, to arrest Heisenberg. Following Saul’s plan, they had a decoy, Jimmy Killkelly, who would go to jail in his place. Jesse made a tiny smile when thinking about the little problem about Badger confusing a regular man for Jimmy. He and Mr. White were in a bit of a panic that the plan would be ruined until Mr. White planned to distract Hank while Jesse had to inform Badger that Jimmy was on the other bench. Admittedly, when Jesse got home after that, he couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He snickered and Daryl turned around giving a puzzled look at him and Jesse explained, “Nothing. I just thought of something funny. Or used to be.” There were many other memories that were trailing behind Jesse while they kept walking the streets, good and bad ones.

They reached around the block where there was a weapon store which was opened by a broken window by a trash can and some of the guns were taken; preferably hunting ones, revolvers, knives, etc while there are some still sitting around. Daryl and Jesse entered through the broken window with Daryl on guard as they stepped inside the quiet store. “Look,” Daryl replied. “I can't be saving your ass all the time. You gotta arm yourself whenever Walkers come around so anywhere in this room can be useful to you. That is if you know how to use a gun.”

“I do,” Jesse protested a little. “I picked up a gun when I was twelve."                      

"Then you wouldn't have a bother shooting one back there. I had a gun right here." Daryl pointed at the gun on its holder that was attached to his belt. 

"Well, how am I suppose to know? That thing was scaring the shit out of me." 

“Walkers come around here and I don't use my crossbow all the time. Just pick a weapon here. I'll be searching around the back room. When I come back, we’re leaving.”

Daryl walked off through the back room while Jesse looked at the various guns left behind that were hanging on the wall and boxes of different bullets that were scattered around. In particular, he was looking at the smaller guns rather than the bigger ones. He walked over to an M9 black gun and felt its texture as he tried to imagine something better other than the nightmares he pictured back at the road. He went over to search for any bullets which he found five packets of them and he grabbed some, putting them into the bag while one he loaded into the gun. As he carried it around, he glanced at the knives and took two small but extremely sharp ones, putting them in the bag. Then what caught his eyes was a black crossbow much like Daryl’s except for the colors of the arrows which were pink and white. Untouched and utterly ignored by whoever were here first, Jesse carried it and from seeing Daryl, he tried to carry it and with one eye closed, he aimed the crossbow around the room.

It was until he pointed it at an unexpected little Walker that was standing a couple of inches away from Jesse. However, unlike all of the other Walkers Jesse had seen, this one appeared familiar to him. Very familiar. Jesse lowered the crossbow and saw that this Walker was none other than Andrea’s son. “Brock?” Jesse said. Brock, now a Walker, simply stared at him with its cold and empty glare with its teeth clattering and making a low growl upon its healthy meal. A distraught Jesse stepped back a little as he pulled out his armed gun as it started to walk towards him.  
“It’s a Walker. Not Brock anymore,” Jesse repeated as his finger tempted itself on the trigger. “Not Brock anymore.” But how could he dismiss this? Despite that Brock is a zombie, he was still a child and nonetheless, a piece of Andrea. Shooting him would mean losing another piece of Andrea even though the child is already lost. He took a deep breath and while the Walker came closer, the tears swell in his eyes yet before he pulled the trigger, one of Daryl’s arrows shot the head. Jesse gasped as Brock fell to the ground hard unmoving and stiff. Daryl who had came back from the back room walked over to the Walker and took it out saying without looking at him, “The whole reason why we are here at a weapon’s store is to give you weapons to kill them.” Though when he turned to Jesse, he saw that the kid was bend down on his knees with tears coming out of his eyes and whimpering in a low tone. Daryl looked at the Walker and back at Jesse who grabbed him by the arm telling him, “There’s nothing we can do about it, kid. He’s a goner.”  
Then Jesse pulled his arm away as he scowled at him, “We can't leave him like this. We gotta bury him.”  
“There’s no point in burying him,” Daryl disagreed. “It’s gonna waste time.”  
“You might think that way but I don't.” Jesse grabbed his crossbow and from its strand, he carried it and using both of his hands, he grabbed Brock’s arms and pulled him. Daryl watched as Jesse tried to carry the body over the window before he made the choice of helping him out a little while scoffing to himself, “You’re one complicated kid.”

Daryl and Jesse stopped by a garden shop where they found a pair of shovels. Jesse found a good location to bury the body which was a small playground where Andrea once told him that Brock would play there. Daryl and Jesse dug a hole big enough for Jesse to put the body there alongside the photo of Andrea and Brock so that his mother would be buried alongside her son. Jesse’s heart ached within him as he and Daryl covered it entirely. Jesse then knelt down and looked at it long enough before he left with Daryl leaving behind some flowers he picked up that had bloomed near the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, something came good here. I feel bad for Jesse :( Next chapter will be up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

The two walked throughout the town and when they reached certain parts of the suburban homes, the sky began to darken as the sun was slowly setting. A lot of Walkers were going to wander around in the dark for food and they’ll need to find shelter fast. In an empty brown house, Daryl and Jesse entered and while they inspected the entire house, they were collecting boards to block the windows--after closing the shutters--and doors, both front and back, along with a few nails and hammers for them to use. Jesse explored around the house going through each room where he grabbed a couple of clothes from what used to have been the husband's clothes. He saw that there weren't any photo albums in the room so it was a sign that they must've escaped safely. He then checked the girl’s room which was pink and decorated with white and purple butterflies and fairies. A white bed ornamented with stuffed animals were left stacked and the closets and drawers were left opened and rummaged with some even lying on the ground. There were ballet shoes and a pink tutu so she was practicing ballet. The books were scattered on the ground alongside the clothes with one Jesse picking up about fairy tales containing some such as Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast and underrated ones like the Juniper Tree and Godfather Death. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Daryl luckily discovered some canned fruit--pineapples, mangoes, peaches, and mixed ones--brown beans, two of cajeta (a Mexican caramel made out of goat’s milk), corn, soups--chicken noodle, tomato, and some alphabet ones--artichokes, and green peas. Some had to be saved for their trip as he put some of the cans inside the bag. Since the stove was out of power, they had to eat the beans and vegetables cold for dinner.

When the night grew near, they left the lantern light on with Jesse lying on the couch while Daryl had the floor and in silence. The fear about Walkers that wandered around shivered up in Jesse's spine more than before. Just the thought about their faces including Brock’s which still bothered his mind--particularly the cold stare he gave him--he looked at the lantern as his only glittering fantasy of thinking this was a dream. It wasn't much help though. Daryl who was testing a hunting knife by peeling a piece of wood glanced at Jesse and saw the distress in his eyes. The kid was suffering whether it was whatever had happened to him at the compound or about the Walker Daryl had saved him from or the apocalypse even. Jesse agreed to go through with this when he wanted to help him find Merle which meant dealing with these kinds of situations. It was just a matter of time for him to get used to it.

Daryl sets down his knife beside him and spoke up to Jesse, “Times like these gets difficult. Everyone experiences their loss, even me, but we can't let that bring us down. We gotta worry about our survival for something we don't know how it began. It ain't pretty words but that’s what life wants us to do right now and we gotta accept it.”

Jesse shifted his eyes at Daryl and without a response, he turned around to face the couch. Daryl, not surprised if Jesse wasn't moved by his little speech, turned his focus on the ceiling for a little while before turning the lantern off.

Jesse couldn't sleep throughout the night. He had thought a little thoroughly about what Daryl had told him and while it wasn't an emotional speech, he was truly right. Back at the compound, he tried to survive even after Todd had murdered Andrea and while he worked his ass off and abandon all escape plots to maintain Brock’s safety, he lost him either way to a zombie apocalypse which now is his new problem. Everything that has happened to him is in the past and though he still can't run from it, he has to learn to go against it. Jesse raised his head and saw shadow figures upon the moonlight shutters of the numerous Walkers that were crossing by. He could still listen to their horrifying voices as he sat up and peeked through to see them walking as if they were regular people walking out on a normal day. His eyes shifted from left to right but also making sure that they don't notice him. Until, he spotted a Walker whom he shockingly discovered to be none other than Mr. White. This sudden surprise anchored his inner feelings as his eyes and mouth widened; his former Chemistry teacher and partner whom he thought had succumbed to his cancer was one of them now. He covered his mouth and moved away from the window. He sank on the couch and covered himself within the blanket. Although a part of him still held a grudge against the man, Jesse felt tiny tears coming out as his permanently damaged heart began to hurt him even more. This part of him saw Mr. White as a father figure and someone he had a gravitational connection with throughout the course of their drug business. One he truly trusted and revealed his troubled feelings with even when he cunningly used it for his personal gain. One he feared so much he never had the courage to kill him. He closed his eyes shut and his entire body began to tremble; he tried his best not to cry as he covered his mouth and focused more on his sleep.

He silently pictured about the aftermath of Jane’s demise that a distressed Jesse ran off to an abandoned building where all the junkies were hiding and seeking refuge in. It was a time when he believed that it was his fault that she was dead, the one he really loved and would've ran off with to where the Lord of the Rings was filmed in. He had taken more heroin than ever and possibly could've also ended up dead like her which is what he would've planned to do. However, Mr. White came in and took him out of there and while he tried to pick him up, Jesse locked himself in an embrace. He wanted a spark of consolation and Mr. White gave it to him as Jesse felt the older man’s warm hands touching him as he eased him from his grief. Jesse now could feel that sort of comfort within him, the same one he felt with Mr. White, as it tucked him to bed. From that point on Jesse knew:

If Mr. White is asked to be killed, it’ll be Jesse who will pull the trigger.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short. Next chapter will be up soon enough :)

**Author's Note:**

> It's good to be back writing fanfictions after being away for so long. I miss it. *hugs it* I'll be writing more so I can't wait how this'll turn out.


End file.
